this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
