In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
