OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
