Have you finally orgasmed yet?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
they're like a gay fantastic four
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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