I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
