just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
