All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
