Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
