I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
