Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Two words: nipple clamps
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