i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
