I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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