I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
