If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
