1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
