Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
