My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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