i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize