thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
