i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
