Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Bring me that man meat
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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