Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
