need another drink. this is the easiest way
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
