Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he puts the penis in happiness.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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