Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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