This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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