4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I think my moral compass just broke
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