Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
worst night to have a conscience
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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