end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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