real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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