This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
