The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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