i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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