that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
We're too hungover to prance.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize