He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
