shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
where are you?
Hypothermia
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
