? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Randomize
