recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
