You work out of a Hotel?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
