They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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