I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i came on her dog
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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