Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
