it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
