pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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