Quick, to the slutcave!
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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