I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
