Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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