you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize