We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
