Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
