I'm jealous of your bromance
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize