the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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