You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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