i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize