we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
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