wat bout pragnant strippers??
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
