so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
