I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
