Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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