it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Boobs speak an international language.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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